Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Chapter 23, the big 2-0

When you're 20,
you realise that people start calling you 'kak'
Instead of 'dik'

When you're 20,
you'll realise that you gotta start taking things a little more seriously
Suddenly you start to think more.
You learn to hold your tongue.
You watch, and listen.
You learn.

You realise that there are certain boundaries in life.
I think..
Boundaries are created by people who are scared.
Scared of the unknown.
Boundaries don't just keep other people out,
they cage you in.

We confuse reality with things that are made up in our minds.
We see lines.
Lines that are blurred.
Suddenly, things that are black and white,
become gray areas.
What do you do, when there are so many shades of gray?
Does it even matter?
Maybe not.
So we cross those lines anyway.
Hoping to find some kind of silver lining on the other side.
Like..
A knight in shining armour.
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
A light at the end of the tunnel.
But then,
Sometimes the other side turns out to be messy

Hey, LIFE, is messy.

We were MADE in a mess
That's the bedroom
or living room, or bathroom.
Wherever your parents decide to procreate
It's still messy.

We were BORN in a mess
Watch some birth videos and you can see
See the gunk that covers your body as a baby
Yeah, I know. Gross.
And messy.

We LIVE in a mess.
So, that's basically Mother Nature getting pissed at us.
She flipped the brid.
She unleashed her wrath.
There's Katrina, El Nino, Rita
They're all girly names for natural disasters right?
Maybe that's Her way of saying,
"Fuck all y'all for treatin' me like shit! Imma shake things up for y'all!"
Yes, I just made Mother Nature very ghetto.
You'll never hear things on the news like,
"Crickey! Take a look at that! It's Hurricane Bob!"
Never.
What else is there?
Tina, Patricia, Angelica, Barbara
Okay, now I'm just making things up

So, I've made up my mind.
20 will be different.
I've got to be more.. 'responsible'
IF, that's possible.
To think what's best for me, and only me.
Yeah, it's selfish. But what matters is how I see myself through my eyes.
Not yours.
Never yours.

So here's me, being me.
A more serious me.
At least, me being serious and sarcastic.
Sarcastically serious? Or seriously sarcastic?
Whatever.

In the end, I think age is just another boundary
We don't have a choice, but to let it come.
We either welcome it with open arms,
Or give em the 'cold shoulder'
The only choice we have
is whether we want to grow up.

Some food for thought for y'all out there.
Being serious can be tiring.

p/s: I think this is the only post I have without emoticons. I'm expressing myself through words. Sepenuhnya.

Sekian.