Chapter 20, LRT misunderstanding

When you're in an LRT, you're expected to make room for people.
People who are disabled, old or pregnant.
So when there's no more seats left,
and a pregnant lady stands next to you,
you're expected to give up your seat.
After all, she has a person growing inside of her.
And you don't.

It so happens that today, I had to take the LRT cuz my car wont start.
I was on my way back from college.
There were no seats left, but it wasn't crowded.
There was this woman standing next to me.
I was sitting, so my head was practically the same level with her tummy.
I was looking at her, scanning her from top to bottom.
I looked at her hair, legs, how she talks, what she wears..
Semua lah.
I think, observing sounds better, don't you think?
Yes, I was making an observation.
Don't judge me, everyone does that.
Yes, you pun. Jgn tipu.

So yeah, I was sorta staring.. in a way.
But I didn't make it obvious. I was busy 'texting' someone.
Kononnya lah.

I thought to myself,

Oh, there's pregnant lady. I should offer her my seat, right?
Shit, what if she's not pregnant? What if that's just a tummy?
A tummy with no baby..
Fuuuuck, that'd be pretty awkward right?
She'd be cursing me till I die cuz I thought she was pregnant.
When she's actually not.
Maybe I should put my shades on and pretend that I'm blind

And then I remember fiddling with my phone a while ago..
Which blind person can do that?

I rested my head to the side and pretended to sleep.
I'm still wondering whether she's pregnant or not.
It's not like I can go up to her and say,

"Miss, I think you should have a seat. Pregnant ladies should conserve energy whenever they can."

Conserve energy.
Yesss, I made her sound like an appliance
A pregnant appliance.. that's energy-saving.

Was she pregnant, or not?
Hhmm.. I guess I'll never know.

Chapter 19, there's this thing called PERSONAL SPACE

Behold the irony of this picture!
This is some funny shit man :)

On a lighter note, I've always wondered..
Why the fuck hell do people say 'free gifts'?
Which fucker smart ass came up with that?
Aren't all gifts free?!
So stupid.

I hate it when I'm sitting on a bench or a chair,
reading a newspaper or a magazine
And then some head comes hovering next to me
Reading the paper
WITH ME. NEXT TO ME.
He or she is so close, I could hear them BREATHE
If that's not bad enough, they smell too!
WTF! Bloody shit hell.
There's this thing called PERSONAL SPACE
It's my space. And yes, it's personal.

I should come up with a list of behaviours that annoy me..
Next post lah. It might take a while :P
Au revoir~

Chapter 18, let's be suggestive, shall we? ;)

Behind every great woman, there's a guy looking..
at her ass.

Don't do it in the garden, in the pool,
or even in the back seat of a car.
Love might be blind,
but people aren't.

Speaking of backseats.. be careful.
Kids + back seat = accidents
Accidents + back seats = kids
kids you didn't plan having
geddit?

Men can fake relationships & marriages
Women can do the same
If there's one thing that men can't fake
it's orgasms :P

Love is not just a mental disorder..
It might also be a sexually transmitted disease.

I shall end this post with one of my favourite quotes..

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure,
I make mistakes, I'm outta control,
and at times, a little hard to handle,
but if you can't handle me at my worst,

Then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

~ Marilyn Monroe

Chapter 17, Auntie Fofo

Yeap! The title of this post says it all. Fofo sudah jadi Auntie.
Please, don't call me 'makcik'. Sungguh tak glamour.
World, meet Tara Dania.
Picture was taken the day she was born, 12th Oct '09.

Yeah she's very bulat. And she smells like a baby :P
She doesn't do much. She just sleeps and breastfeeds...
She can wiggle2 a bit.
She'd open her eyes,
and then give me this.. what-are-you-looking-at punya face
And she poops too.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
She can do all that while being cute.
I can't wait to picit2 her pipi till she cries :)

So yeah, that's about it.
My life is boring.
I don't have people staring at me 24/7 thinking I'm God's greatest gift.
Not like Tara. People look at her and go "aaww~"
I don't get an "aaww~". I get "weeeiiii~"
Or "wooooiiiiii" :P
Hahaha. Dearest Tara, you'll have a wonderful life ahead of you.
I'll be home more often.
Nak kena jadi 'Auntie yang berhemah & bertauliah'
Hahahahahahahaha
Toodles!

Chapter 16, Twilight & poems ;)

Okay, I've decided to give Twilight a chance.
I figured, beneath all that hype, there must be something nice about it.
Besides, I gotta know what that vampire stuff is all about before I say more.
Hollywood didn't really give Twilight a fair chance tho..
Pri said it's one of those books you can just get hooked on.
She said in a way it's better than Harry Potter
(Completely bull.. But that's just my opinion)
grrr.... >:(

EVERYONE'S FLYING OFF DAAAAAHHH! :(:(
I miss Lye, Pri & Eve

One another note...

I was feeling bored
I was feeling blue
So I wrote this poem
My most recent breakthrough

Don't be quick to judge
And please don't hold a grudge
I did this just to kill time
To give myself some peace of mind

Enjoy :)

* * * * *

Women

There was a man who wanted a lady
But he didn't want one who is all bitchy
He thought and pondered
Which one, he wondered
Would be a good fit for me?

Does it take a pretty lassie
To make him call her honey
Or perhaps eyes that are dreamy
To cool him down when he's angry

Maybe a body shaped like a coke bottle
Can make him feel civil and humble
Or does it take a complete whore
To make his heart feel at war

Maybe it takes a total skank
Which chains he'd want to yank
Or perhaps a fuller figure
That might pull his trigger

Does it take a lass who seemed sweet
But turns out, she's a freak in the sheets?
Or maybe he needs a total fox
Whose drinks are always on the rocks

Maybe it takes ample bosom
To make him wanna have a threesome
Or perhaps a woman with class
Who also has a nice arse

At the end of the day
There's nothing left to say
When the time comes
He'll know to whom he belongs